Sometimes we have a conversation about all that is going on in our lives. One of the things that somebody has to think about are household chores and upkeep items. This is everything from cleaning, to dishes, vacuuming, and more.
Typically in the past this has been the “women’s job” because traditionally, the woman stayed at home.
If one of you stays at home, it’s really easy to fall into the trap of the stay-at-home parent is the one who does all of the household activities.
This is not right or fair. BOTH of you are responsible for the Household. Not the wife. Not the husband. BOTH.
So what should you do?
1. Write down every activity that has to be done around the House. EVERY ACTIVITY. You can do this in an excel spreadsheet or on a piece of paper.
2. Then, write down the person’s name who has typically been doing that activity.
3. Talk about the list. Who is doing what? Who is doing the most, or more?
Sometimes it does make sense for the stay-at-home spouse to do more work at home because that is where they are all day. But this is something you should agree on together. It shouldn’t be the automatic default.
4. Make any needed changed.
When we did this, it really helped us feel gratitude for each other because we saw how much the other person really does do! And it made us feel better about the household chores we do individually, because we came up with plan together that we BOTH agreed on.