We got the following question on our Instagram:
“How do you balance the logistics of having a baby? Like work/school while still actually enjoying your baby and not just throwing them in daycare? (which would be a massive expense anyway)”
I totally get it! It can be so challenging to find the balance between all of those things and what YOU want out of life too. I am still in the thick of it all too and not everyday runs perfectly smooth. I think it definitely depends on the mom’s personality, child’s personality and so many factors! I do want to preface this with the fact that their is AL LOT of mom judgement over daycare/nanny, working vs. non working etc. and there is nothing wrong with any of those paths! Your story might be completely different than mine but hopefully by sharing this, it will help you to see that you CAN have a baby and still have a life!
Before I had our first baby, I thought I wanted to go back to work full time and was planning on it but after I finished my maternity leave, I realized I really wasn’t ready to do that. Thankfully, we were in the financial situation to have me stay home. I quickly realized, however, that I needed a hybrid. I LOVED being home with our baby but I also wanted to do things that made my brain work and have adult conversation. We were running Centsei at the time but we were taking a very low maintenance approach and it was more just a side hobby that we did every once in a while.
I tried LOTS of different things. I worked a couple different jobs. I read A LOT of books, completed my group fitness certification, took some online courses etc. trying to figure out what would be a good fit for me at this stage of life.
Around that same time, Dan stopped working his job and started working on Centsei full time. I was pregnant with our second and with both of those striking at once– things really picked up for us. I decided that instead of trying to do 10 things at once, I needed to prioritize only two: Centsei and Mom Life. I could always come back to the other things I was considering (and still fully plan on it!) But right now, Centsei and our kids really needed to take top priority.
Like I said, your story may be completely different than mine. You may still be in school. You may work full time. You may prioritize child care and really value that. You may love being a full time mom. But here is how I have organized my day to help me to balance running a start up while still being as present as possible for our kids — both the one that is still cooking and the toddler!
Wake up and read scriptures- Since this pregnancy has been a bit more challenging, I usually read my scriptures in bed while Dan makes breakfast and gets Lucy up. Then I will make the bed (game changer to making you feel accomplished in 30 seconds!) and go eat.
Eat breakfast as a family
15 minute power clean- This is the biggest game changer! Set a timer and just power clean! I have a couple “reset” times built in throughout the day and it helps me to get so much more done without feeling like the whole day I am just cleaning. I try to prioritize the dishes/kitchen first and pick up anything else around the house.
Exercise and get ready for the day– I was working out about 5x/wk before this pregnancy but now I am aiming for 3. Sometimes that is just a walk or stretching and other times it is a little more intense.
Get Lucy ready for the day– This takes literally 2 minutes haha
Leave house for outing about 9:00/9:30ish– This is Lucy’s favorite thing! She is very motivated to get ready when she knows we are going somewhere. I try to only run “errands” one day a week. So I do my grocery shopping, fill up gas, return things etc on Fridays. Then the rest of the week I can plan all the play dates, bake something, go to the park, trips to the splash pad, hikes with friends, museums, lunch outings, trips to the library etc. I want! This is one of my favorite things about living in a small space– we get outside and go do things! This really helps me to have built in connection time with Lucy and feel like I get the benefits of “mom life.”
Come home/Eat lunch (Dan makes lunch at our house) and put Lucy down for a nap
15 minute power clean- I do another power clean which usually isn’t too messy if we have been out all morning 😉
POWER HOUR: Or more like 2-3 hours! This is when I really push to get everything done for Centsei that I can while Lucy is napping. When I was taking online courses (or for those student moms) this is when I did that. It is so easy for this time to get filled up with social media, cleaning etc. and sometimes that is what I need and I just take a good ol’ pregnancy nap during this time! 🙂 But I really suggest making this a focused time. It is amazing how much you can get done during that time if you really block it off as “work time” and do not get distracted. Clean later. Scroll later. You got this.
Post nap– This is when I generally call my mom or sister, fold laundry, do my weekly chores, read a book/listen to audio book, etc. I will often take Lucy on a walk, play/read with her, let her independent play or set up some sort of activity for her in her sensory table! I really value independent play and think it is important for kids but I also really want to be present so I try not to work during this time as much as possible. I want to be able to stop what activity I am doing to help her if she needs me. Because I got so much done during the power hour, it is always SO much easier for me to give her my full attention if we need some extra connection time. This time goes fast and before you know it- it is time to make dinner!
Make and Eat Dinner at 5:00- The time after dinner usually varies! Sometimes we have people over, sometimes we go outside as a family, sometimes we do bubbles, sometimes Dan and I just talk while Lucy plays, sometimes we have dance parties sometimes I take a nap because I am so pooped 🙂 But we do try to spend it together as a family!
Dan and I do the bedtime routine together and then Lucy goes down at 7:00! The rest of the night is more power hour time! Lots of Centsei things together, webinars, meetings, etc. This is also when we work on our church callings or do our finances etc. We do all the fun stuff during this time too–watch a show, work on a an online course together, read, marco polo, social media etc. and we try to be in bed by 10:00!
Phew. There you have it. A “typical” day for me. I know this will definitely change when baby #2 gets here but for now this has been working really well for us! I hope that helps you to see that you can build your schedule to how you want it to be. In the future, I am definitely not against hiring help but right now it feels very doable for our stage of life!
Hopefully you can see that you really have the power to create your day! Even if you have certain school or work requirements– you CAN make it work! A baby is so worth it!
Also NONE of this would be possible without Dan. I know every wife thinks they have a supportive husband but really. It is HUGE. We have had lots of different conversations about how to fill our needs and are constantly adapting! Three cheers for an awesome husband!